in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen -really seen.
courage - coeur - latin - origina definition - to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. - the courage to be imperfect - to be compassion to be kind to ourselves first and then to others - they had connection as a result of authenticity - they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were.
they fully embraced vulnerability. they believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful - neither excruciating or comfortable.
the willingness to say i love you first. the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees. the way to live is with vulnerability and to stop controlling and predicting.
what makes me feel vulnerable?
we live in a vulnerable world - we mask or numb vulnerability
I believe we were made to depend on God, and so be vulnerable completely only to Him who is completely good. We are also meant to be vulnerable to people in varying degrees, and that we are meant to be in, and enjoy, intimate relationships with one another. But discernment must be exercised.
"guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it comes the stuff of life."
why and how we numb - we make every that's uncertain, certain - religion has gone from faith and mystery to certainty.
blame. You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort
to let ourselves be seen - deeply seen - vulnerably seen.
Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?" just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive."
"we carry it around calling it the twenty ton shield, when in fact i protects us from being hurt... from being seen."
stop carrying religious baggage.
Paradoxes don't scare me anymore.
Whenever I think there's a perfect pattern, further reading and study reveal an exception.
People who have really met the Holy are always humble. It's the people who don't know who usually pretend that they do. People who've had any genuine spiritual experience always know they don't know. They are utterly humbled before mystery. They are in awe before the abyss of it all, in wonder at eternity and depth, and a Love, which is incomprehensible to the mind. It is a litmus test for authentic God experience, and is — quite sadly — absent from much of our religious conversation today.
Richard rohr
it's not a winning, it's not about losing - it's about showing up, and being seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-JXOnFOXQk
i want to show up and be seen in my work and in my life.
and if you're going to show up and be seen, there is only one guarantee, you will get your ass kicked.
if courage is a value that you hold, teething your ass kicked is a consequence - you can't avoid it.
but if you're in the cheap seats, not putting yourself on the line, i'm not interested in your feedback
the arena - for the actor it is the wings - you armour up. - but God that stuff is heavy - your burden is heavy - against vulnerability - you shut yourself off.
i love the analogy she uses - what you're asked daily to do as a creative [and for me as an actor], is walk through this hall, get to the top of the stairs and get naked. Get really real. Putt yourself out there, and walk out there, so people can see you and see hat you've made, what you're doing.
the critics - i used to think the best way to put your work out into the world is to make sure the critics are not in the arena, but you have no control over whose in the arena. and the best way is to
shame
scarcity
and comparison
stefanos
ourselves - myself - probably the biggest critics - we're so self-critical - more in creatives - self conscious?
we orphan that part of ourselves that don't fit into our ideals
it feels dangerous to be seen.
"i don't care what people think, i don't worry about the critics in the arena" sends a huge red flag up for me - we're hard wired for connection:
when we stop caring what people think, we lose our own capacity for connection
not caring what people think its its own kind of hustle
when we become defined by what people think, we lose our capacity to be vulnerable
so rather than locking folks out of the arena, i'm going to invite you to reserve seats for them.
to me if you're going to spend your life in the arena, if you're going to spend your life showing up - really showing up,
if you're not failing, you're really not showing up.
very clear about who the critics are, and reserve seats for them - i see you, i hear you, but i'm not buying it anymore.
The weight that’s in your arms right now...it’s heavy, isn’t it?
The dogma.
The tradition.
The theological labels.
The tradition.
The theological labels.
(Corey 35)
I have often felt (as haveothers) that her nakedness, physical and otherwise, is beingused rather than offered.
We take in the most embarrassing folds and creases of Dunham’s naked public self, without asking whether all the nakedness is good for her person, or for us.
"... as much as I appreciate Dunham’s storytelling, I have often felt (as have others) that her nakedness, physical and otherwise, is being used rather than offered."
http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2014/november/sorry-brene-brown-not-all-vulnerability-is-brave.html?paging=off
https://mommybloglines.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/the-distinction-between-personal-authenticity-and-emotional-exhibitionism/
exhibitionism?
the distinction between personal authenticity and emotional exhibitionism
someone who is all in.
My faith is really an organising principle in my life. i was scared at first.
i imagine you would be. because you're really bringing two worlds together, in a way where, each world probably has substantial doubt about the validity of the other one.
In no man's land, safe in your hands.
"grounded theory... you don't start with existing theories and prove and disprove them, you start with people's lived experiences. you often come up with conclusions that bump up against what is there in existing literature.
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